Why are white picket fences

so hard to find in a time

when barbed wire seems the norm,

when back-stabbing and betrayal

leap off Shakespeare's pages

and into my arms? Running

round in circles, away from

the devils in our own hearts,

Let's Play a Game

Hey you. You're pretty cute.

So let's play a game.

Let's sweet-talk.

Let's call each other babe, sweetheart

Pretend I'm your Lizzy always and forever.

Let's play fight

Let's talk, text, and think about each other all day long

and in your dreams each night.

Let's tell each other good morning

and good night every day.

Let's take walks together, hold hands together,

interlaced fingers like nothing could tear us apart.

Let's give each other nicknames: lil sis, best friend, Lizzy my love

beautiful, brilliant, cupcake, mine

Let's hang out with each other's friends

Let's go on dates

Let's talk on the phone all night, never say goodbye,

LEt's hold each other o so tight, you said you'd never

let me go, the only place I said I felt safe,

you promised I'd always be safe.

Let's kiss and hug, you said you loved me,

Just kiss me already, kill me with kisses

Whoever falls in love first, loses.

I always knew I'd lose.

Love, the only saint I ever prayed to.

Love, the only thing that leads me home.

Beaten and bruised and so confused,

leaning on the hope of something

more than scattered dreams.

I was made for more than broken dreams.

Love, the only medicine I'll ever need.

Love, the only truth to ease the pain of all these lies,

seeing clearly with unclouded eyes

all the things I wished I could become.

Love won't ever let me come undone.

Love, the faithful saint, will lead me home.

Saints and sinners sing your broken hallelujah

Join together in a chorus for all

our bleeding hearts, punctured lungs that draw

our final breaths.

Love, the only saint I ever prayed to

Why did you hide

your devil's face from me?

Why did you never

show me the faces

of broken people, your blind followers,

the only legacy that love left me with.

Bleed me dry with last month's promises,

Poison me with last month's kisses

Stale words and worn-out longings,

a joyless passion, the greatest sin.

Bruised, broken, damned.

You wouldn't save me

from the hell you put me in.

Saints sing their hallelujah

But sinners' cries are louder.

Love

The only saint

Pray for me from hell.

Don't forget about me yet

One last kiss to send you,

This postcard from hell.

Pour it all out,

light it on fire, the incense

of our broken lives, silent cries

from poisoned lips whose kisses

brought only lies and death.

Some things never change.

Hiding our faults behind

glass doors, wishing for something more

than broken mirrors and lovers' lies.

Tears of a saint never change anything.

Blood of a martyr shed in vain.

Was I always this insecure, or

did your punches and blows push me over?

Saints and sinners, they all lie

in the same graves, their bones

all blow to dust the same way.

Some things never change.

Some people never change.

Empty hearts all look the same

And some of us never could be saved.

"Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at; maybe I would have been something you'd be good at."

-Tegan and Sarah

Just when you think

things have hit rock bottom,

the ground drops out

from beneath your unsteady

feet, and you fall

still further, plummeting

to a bottom you didn't

believe existed, leaving

you with the haunting

unbearable question:

why?