Standing before the eternal throne of glory,
I watch as my life is built up
into a palace, a shack, a building
formed by thoughts, words, and actions.
The shining thought, loving word, Christ-like
deed, all these are shimmering, reflecting
the light of the glory of God. Enduring
for a lifetime, supporting and sustaining
the building, all that glitters is glory.
But the prideful thought, careless word, wicked
deed, all these are half-baked bricks,
sloppy stonework, weak and rotting wood.
Mixed throughout the work are materials
both firm and frail, base and beautiful.
And still the building of my life is built.
Finally it is finished, the Lord looks
and commands with a wave of His hand—
“It must be purged—by fire.” Aghast
I stand staring as holy fire
rains down, purifying, purging, consuming
all that is crass or carelessly constructed,
perfecting and polishing the pure. It rages,
reflecting off of gold and silver, bouncing
back the divine light.
The fire fades
and what remains glistens ever brighter
in the glory of God. It stands
scarred, yet whole and holy
through the purifying fire
which no base thing can endure.
All is made well through holy flame.
8 comments:
Your best work yet (IMHO). Gave me chills. =]
:) Very easy reading.
:) I'm glad you enjoyed. It was born partly out of Sunday School/sermon topics, partly from Wheatstone, and partly from Eliot imagery...I've been struggling to write a good worship song for some time now, but this came instead. Maybe it's a sign from God that poetry, not lyrics, are my forte :P
Beautiful! The controlling metaphor works very well... and I think it avoids cliche by describing the materials so carefully and specifically.
"Crass or carelessly constructed... perfecting and polishing the pure" is just perfect (and gorgeous alliteration).
I'm not sure what "bouncing back the divine light" means, exactly (maybe there's a more specific word for "bouncing"?)... and is the building really "scarred" (or... in what sense is it scarred)?
The "all that glitters" line is a reference to the GKC poem, right? If so, I'm really fascinated by the change in phrasing (insertion of "glory"). Maybe it's just because I don't understand what glory is, or maybe it's because glory is such a big (or abstract) concept that I have a hard time envisioning what glory is doing for you in the poem, but the phrasing seems a bit ambiguous in that section. If you use a word like glory, I'd love to see it come back later in the poem or be weaved into the fabric of the imagery in other places...
Just some thoughts... hopefully helpful ones (after our discussion about receiving genuine feedback). I can also confine myself to expressions of genuine praise if you prefer (I like both, personally, depending on my mood and how dear the poem is to me heart)... and I really enjoyed this poem!
Bouncing...hmm...reflecting? Mirroring? Scarred...flawed? Imperfect? Marred?
Hahaha, if it was a reference to Chesterton, it was a subconscious one...I had the idea of not all that glitters being gold, but that this truly was what it promised, but more than gold...if that makes any sense? Glory is a weird thing because it's so easy to use in poems, but it's hard to give it a concrete meaning within the poem...when I write more theological poems, or any poem really, I often feel like I'm throwing around catchphrases without a real knowledge of what they mean...
Why thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it and your comments are greatly appreciated :) I find it rather interesting that one of the poems I was rather less thrilled with turns out to be the one that people seem to like the most...
Very beautiful, dear friend. Keep up the good work. I feel that I should also put out some constructive criticism instead of always just praising your works. But I cannot as I am no poet and therefore must remain your cheerleader to the end of my days. :)
"Hahaha, if it was a reference to Chesterton, it was a subconscious one"
Oh! That makes sense... the Chesterton poem (in Manalive) states "all is gold that glitters/ for the glitter is the gold", his idea being that we value gold for the very reason that it IS shiny (once again combating the cynical desire to refute all estimates of value or worth in objects). I think your sentiment is similar (it inverts the proverb in order to ascribe worth rather than to "see through it"), but notably different.
Also, I do want to affirm you in your "hard work" poems... these ones we all comment on are "tasty", so we all jump to comment on them, but your others are good too. When I first started fencing with a real instructor, I also started losing bouts like crazy. The instructor had to affirm that my fencing was actually "better" (had more potential, and was closer to excellent fencing) with formal training, but that it would take a long time for my real skill to catch up to my raw intuition because I had to learn to make a foreign set of actions and processes "my own". I think the same goes for us amateur poets... it will be a long time before our skilled productions are integrated enough to communicate with our very interesting intuitions about life!
I remember that poem! I love Manalive...next to Man Who was Thursday it's one of my favorites...though I don't think I could ever really choose a favorite Chesterton novel.
Mhm we're probably saying similar things, only Chesterton of course says it much clearer and better than I ever could. Subconsciously probably he was influencing me in this wording, as was Eliot in other parts of the poem. The idea that in heaven, the things that glitter truly are gold...the idea that what something promises, it delivers, so to speak ;)...is somewhat what I'm trying to say.
Thank you for your encouragement :) And fencing, that is so amazing!!! I have always wanted to take up fencing, but a lack of time, resources, and other factors have kept me from doing it. How long have you been fencing now?
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