Friday, May 6, 2011

Let's Play a Game

Hey you. You're pretty cute.
So let's play a game.
Let's sweet-talk.
Let's call each other babe, sweetheart
Pretend I'm your Lizzy always and forever.
Let's play fight
Let's talk, text, and think about each other all day long
and in your dreams each night.
Let's tell each other good morning
and good night every day.
Let's take walks together, hold hands together,
interlaced fingers like nothing could tear us apart.
Let's give each other nicknames: lil sis, best friend, Lizzy my love
beautiful, brilliant, cupcake, mine
Let's hang out with each other's friends
Let's go on dates
Let's talk on the phone all night, never say goodbye,
LEt's hold each other o so tight, you said you'd never
let me go, the only place I said I felt safe,
you promised I'd always be safe.
Let's kiss and hug, you said you loved me,
Just kiss me already, kill me with kisses
Whoever falls in love first, loses.
I always knew I'd lose.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Love, the only saint I ever prayed to.
Love, the only thing that leads me home.
Beaten and bruised and so confused,
leaning on the hope of something
more than scattered dreams.
I was made for more than broken dreams.
Love, the only medicine I'll ever need.
Love, the only truth to ease the pain of all these lies,
seeing clearly with unclouded eyes
all the things I wished I could become.
Love won't ever let me come undone.
Love, the faithful saint, will lead me home.
Saints and sinners sing your broken hallelujah
Join together in a chorus for all
our bleeding hearts, punctured lungs that draw
our final breaths.
Love, the only saint I ever prayed to
Why did you hide
your devil's face from me?
Why did you never
show me the faces
of broken people, your blind followers,
the only legacy that love left me with.

Bleed me dry with last month's promises,
Poison me with last month's kisses
Stale words and worn-out longings,
a joyless passion, the greatest sin.

Bruised, broken, damned.
You wouldn't save me
from the hell you put me in.
Saints sing their hallelujah
But sinners' cries are louder.
Love
The only saint
Pray for me from hell.
Don't forget about me yet
One last kiss to send you,
This postcard from hell.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Pour it all out,
light it on fire, the incense
of our broken lives, silent cries
from poisoned lips whose kisses
brought only lies and death.
Some things never change.
Hiding our faults behind
glass doors, wishing for something more
than broken mirrors and lovers' lies.
Tears of a saint never change anything.
Blood of a martyr shed in vain.
Was I always this insecure, or
did your punches and blows push me over?
Saints and sinners, they all lie
in the same graves, their bones
all blow to dust the same way.
Some things never change.
Some people never change.
Empty hearts all look the same
And some of us never could be saved.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

"Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at; maybe I would have been something you'd be good at."
-Tegan and Sarah

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Just when you think
things have hit rock bottom,
the ground drops out
from beneath your unsteady
feet, and you fall
still further, plummeting
to a bottom you didn't
believe existed, leaving
you with the haunting
unbearable question:
why?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I miss you.
All those lost souls,
Fallen down those dirty rabbit holes,
Endless tangled tunnels of lost
loves, long-predicted failures.
Don't say I didn't try
to warn you with my cries.
You called them crocodile tears.
And now my tears have their revenge,
as they slowly fill the rabbit holes
and drown the lost souls
of all the things I loved and lost.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
I saw the signs, perceived the
patterns: when I was broken
by everyone I tried to love.
Love broke me and left me
waiting for a sign. But the only
signs I see are the signs
that you're leaving me.
Did I say I miss you?
Would you even hear me
if I did?
Now I'm drowning, voice
silenced in my own endless tunnel.